How to seek emotional support, When engulfed by negative emotions,

Research indicates that when people encounter stress or experience negative emotions, they are more inclined to seek help with an emotional orientation, hoping to gain understanding and support from others. By employing emotional management techniques, individuals can better cope with negative emotions and maintain a positive mindset.

People are social creatures and tend to seek comfort in times of difficulty. Negative emotions are common in life. In most cases, we turn to our family and friends for solace. However, after confiding in friends, do we often feel like our problems remain unresolved or that the answers given by friends and family are unsatisfactory? Therefore, although interpersonal emotional regulation seems ubiquitous, the people we interact with may not always provide the emotional support we seek.

A study published in 2021 revealed the role others play in regulating our emotions, a process known as interpersonal emotional regulation. In a two-week experiment, participants were required to provide daily reports to researchers, including whether they sought emotional help from friends, which friends (types of friends and genders), and the reasons for seeking help from these friends.

The study showed that most participants sought help from close individuals (such as partners, family, and close friends); simultaneously, people were more inclined to seek emotion-oriented support rather than problem-oriented support.

Problem-focused coping involves facing stress positively and taking action to address underlying causes. Emotion-focused coping involves regulating your feelings and emotional responses to the problem rather than directly addressing it. Both strategies can alleviate stress, but research suggests that problem-focused strategies are more effective in combating stress.

So why do people still tend to seek emotion-oriented coping mechanisms? Because of empathy, people prefer to be understood, hoping that others will understand their situation from their perspective rather than from a godlike perspective.

Even when experiencing negative emotions, people often know what they should do at the moment, indicating that they do not lack the ability to deal with problems. Instead, what individuals truly lack is internal support when making decisions, namely, the understanding of others.

Methods of emotional management:

1) Identify the source of emotional triggers: People often have a fear of negative emotions and tend to instinctively think about avoiding them when they arise. However, adding a bit more curiosity when negative emotions arise and trying to identify the source of our discomfort can help reduce the significance of these triggers, thereby improving our ability to cope with stress.

2) Engage in positive self-dialogue: When our emotions spiral out of control, we often fall into self-blame. However, as mentioned in the above study, people tend to seek empathetic support. When experiencing negative emotions, individuals can try to treat themselves with empathy, providing themselves with affirmations and positive encouragement to help them shake off negative emotions more quickly.